Friday, June 18, 2004

kriss, kissaand feminism

“Oooooooooh my God!…I really have this feeling like ‘game na kayo!’ well, if that is the case then perhaps we should begin…(in a disoriented manner) like, begin what? Oh my God…like I forgot why I’m here…kidddddddding!. Well since we are all here and the stage is set and we have an audience and everything why don’t you and I conduct a nerve wrecking yet satisfying intellectual intercourse”. Did you know that Merriam Webster defines the word woman as a ‘female servant or attendant’ . You know what’s worst Encarta Dictionary defines woman as a domestic employee. Yessss…I mean I was like shock and everything because I wouldn’t allow people to call me a servant…me? A servant? With my flawless skin and perfectly manicured nails…a servant? Like Nooooooooo!.

So then I started to have tour of my book Word Origins and then I found the oddest word foundation, woman came from the English word wifman which means a ‘wife plus a man’ . And I was like “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?”…Of course I have this feeling that my daily dose of anxiety is slowly creeping in, I realized that I should observe one hundred percent feminist outlook…(in an extra proud manner) for I am a woman!, then again I realized what do I mean when I say feminist? Well…(While talking to the audience) Of course a thinker like me knows what it means…feminist means…uhmmmm…it means you always entertain bad thoughts…or was that pessimist?…Oh, oh I know it means your immature or was that childish? (to the audience) now, don’t look at me like I don’t know what I’m talking about…I know what feminism is…in fact if I may declare I am one of them…don’t give that look…I am…believe me I am…what do you mean I don’t look like one…FYI my mother is a feminist…what do you mean she’s a housewife wearing a yellow apron…how dare you!!! You stop it okay…If you don’t stop it…If you don’t stop it…babatuhin kita ng kissa!!! Oh really now…I accept your challenge…I will prove to you and to everybody that I am a feminist!

First, I know for a fact that “Women constitute one half of the world’s population, we perform nearly two-thirds of the world’s tasks, and sad to say receives one tenth of the world’s income and worst we own less than one-tenth of the world’s property” , talk about being a loser…but what I don’t understand is that if that would be the case then why are we still referred to as the weaker sex? Hmmmm…actually we hate it! I mean we hate to be addressed in that manner…who wants to be refferred to as somebody weak…like helloooooooooo!!! We hate the concept of categorizing, oh! by the way I let myself use the word categorize because as of this moment majority of the population living in this world refuse to use the word ‘discriminate’, for it is politically incorrect. Perhaps they live in an alternate universe where health cutbacks does not constitute women, a place where politics is not male dominated and a situation where the knight-in-the-shining-armor syndrome is nonexistent.

Second, though I am planning to have my breast augmented just like Claudine…Excuse me, I will just augment it…I am not going to fix my breast…my breast is just fine, it just needs a little improvement…I mean I for one can afford it, I have money you know…nevertheless, even though I am planning to have my breast augmented just like Claudine I despise the exploitation of women on television, isn’t bad enough that most men in our country dwell on the fact that women with a fair complexion and big boobs are considered to be beautiful if not attractive, I mean come on…Filipinas are not mestizas…that is one hell of a mistake…Filipinas are ‘morenas’ that is why they need kissa papaya! Notions like that should be corrected from the inside, I mean isn’t that a little bit shallow that you begin to have a false impression of a filipina whom you know since you were a kid. In addition, I also spurn the sight of “almost” naked women in noontime show. They are beings with brains, brains should be use, you use the brain when you begin to educate. Then the question would be…Is there anybody who volunteers to educate them? To tell them that they have the ability to say NO if they feel exploited? That they have an option not to capitalize on their bodies?

Third, though sometimes it’s flattering specially if Piolo would be the one to commit the act, We hate it when men sees us as a piece of meat! We are not meat from the sleekiest market in town, in fact sometimes I feel like I’m an armani suit that most men like to wear…it hurts me, why? What do you mean why? You know what, when you sell your brain…it’ll be really, really expensive…you know why? Of course you don’t know why…It has never been used! Well that’s enough, again We hate the very thought that men looks at us as though we are a piece of meat…we are not…believe it or not our existence have a purpose and that is to live in absolute equality. Why do we have to symbolize alcohol, cigarettes and other God forbidden vices? I mean why men model it…they are the primary consumer of the product? Wait! Yes…tito boy! Okei tito boy…bye tito boy! It’s tito boy I have to cut this short…I have an appointment, What? Well I happen to love antiques!

So what am I trying to point out? pure and simple. Women are intelligent. That is flat fact. Now don’t begin to ask me for proofs I might give it to you and I need more than 365 and ¼ days to enumerate them. For men like John Nash, Pierre Curie, and John Kennedy a woman’s wisdom has become evident that history even took notice of it. I came here to tell you that women ‘always’ think…like men we also had the opportunity to acquire a ‘brain’ and we intend to use it. And one more thing get rid of the quote ‘behind a great man is a great woman’ We don’t need to be behind any man, we can be beside them or even in front of them. Let us put into argument the long time dispute regarding women empowerment. Women Power is not a theory nor a concept it is an existing truth that needs to be practiced and prime. For years we have been combating Human Rights specially dedicated to women. Let us put a stop to it. Let’s practice it.

Entry for the Opus League Competition
St. Scholastica’s College
2nd Place

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