dahil hinihiling ng ilang 'piling' kaibigan...
things you can do to have fun while entertaining potential bf's.
GUY: jen kailan mo ba ako sasagutin?
JEN: Maya-maya.
(Naiinip na eh!)
GUY: Jen alam mo bang ang ganda-ganda mo?
JEN: Oo naman, considering na transvestite lang ako. kabayo na nag co-cross dress.
(Baka bastedin nung lalaki yung sarili niya)
GUY: Alam mo jen you're special?
JEN: Ano ako GOTO W/ EGG? Special mong mukha mo!
(Pwede din akong palabok!)
GUY: Kung liligawan ba kita sasagutin mo ako?
JEN: Bakit hindi? ang dali-dali mong sabihan ng 'sorry' eh.
GUY: Jen hatid na kita sa inyo?
JEN: Bakit di naman ako maliligaw ah! ikaw pa iligaw ko!
(Loko! ihahatid daw, gagamit na lang ako ng mapa or compass!)
GUY: Jen alam mo bang exotic ka!
JEN: Ano ako isda!?
(May hasang ba ako inay!)
GUY: Jen kung bibigyan kita ng love letter babasahin mo ba?
JEN: Oo naman, tapos pag tatawanan ko! gusto mo ba edit ko din?
GUY:Jen kung bibigyan kita ng love letter babasahin mo ba?
JEN: Oo naman basta dugo mo ang pinang sulat mo!
GUY: Jen flowers para sa iyo
JEN: Noooooooooooooooo! isang dosenang ari ng bulaklak!
*my personal favorite
GUY: Jen mahal kita
JEN: Bolero! Manloloko! Lasing ka na naman! Hulihin nyo 'to o...nangloloko!
student/teacher bloopers
Try to laugh with these...
*Note: These are all TRUE STORIES
SCENARIO 1
STUDENT: Mam jen CR ako...
JEN: CR ka? akala ko tao ka?
(how could i be that blind?)
SCENARIO 2
CO-TEACHER: Ok class we will be having a recitation today, what can you say about PREMARITAL SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE?
JEN: hmmm...labu.
SCENARIO 3
JEN: o bakit ka umiiyak?
CO-TEACHER: e kasi yung boyfriend ko...
JEN: Na naman?
CO-TEACHER: ewan ko ba ang tanga-tanga ko...mahal na mahal ko kahit gingawa akong DOOR KNOB
(DOOR KNOB ka? akala ko tao ka?)
SCENARIO 4
JEN: Naku manong guard sandali na lang po...pack up na po kami...
GUARD: Suri mam, may CARPYU po kasi eh...
JEN: ah...ok.
SCENARIO 5
CO-TEACHER: Buti di ka napapagod sa ginagawa mo...
JEN: Nakakapagod pero kailangn kasi may ON HANDS training yung mga kids...
(Ano daw sabi ko!?)
every day humor
most people would say that i have a bag of humor slinged on my right shoulder, so when people seems to be lonely, sad or they just have the regular dose of anxiety attacks they tend to look at me.
then they laugh (at that point i try to understand that it is not my face that is funny, maybe it is my personality, now if that could be true should i not feel bad about myself?)
well, i came up with a lists of my unforgettable punchlines which some of you can use to brighten up your day:
SCENARIO ONE:
From a classic college story, one time i came to the classroom and i saw a friend of mine he was looking weary so i asked him-
JEN: O bakit ang lungkot mo?
FRIEND: Wala..may problem lang sa bahay...
JEN: Ano?
FRIEND Ewan ko ba feeling ko isa akong BLACK SHEPHERD
(the minute i heard the word black shepherd, i knew something was wrong but i wasn't able to pin point it there and then)
SCENARIO TWO:
FRIEND: Jen kain ka muna ng pruits...
JEN: Sige, ano bang meron?
FRIEND: Affles, Oranges meron ding Finya
(hmmm...speech defect?)
SCENARIO THREE:
This is a favorite in JSI
BOY: Miss Pwede ka bang ligawan?
JEN: Ngayon na?
(Daig ng maagap ang masikap!)
SCENARIO FOUR:
Try this masaya
STUDENT: Mam ang ganda nyo ngayon ah...
JEN: Kung maganda ako ano ka pa? Diyosa? tandaan mo papatayin ko kung may mas gaganda pa iyo!
SCENARIO FIVE:
Try this if you'd be a speaker for a seminar
FACILITATOR: Mam, how do we address you?
JEN: (All smiles) Former binibining pilipinas universe
*the facilitator will laugh her/his heart out as soon as she copes up with the shock
SCENARIO SIX:
Try this if you fel like you want to be hurt
Look at a person you don't know and start teasing him/her with an inanimate object (eg. chair, desks, ballpens)
SENARIO SEVEN:
When somebody asks you what is your profession tell him/her with out thinking twice that you are a 'MUSE'
JOB TITLE: MUSE
JOB DESCRIPTION: To inspire and to be beautiful at all times.
SCENARIO EIGHT:
Act like Melanie Marquez
(though personally i like her)
SCENARIO NINE:
Talk to my mom (she's ilonga)
NANAY: Jini, tilipon
JEN: Sino daw po nay?
NANAY: Jime daw...
Now was that Jaime or Jimmy...i guess i have to find out...
SCENARIO TEN:
Save the best for last.
Note: This is a true story
Listen to your father as he sing 'PUFF THE MAGIC RACOON'
*partida videoke yun...
