Sunday, August 22, 2004

a redefintion of obedience

Hah! When was the last time I posted my ‘not-so-mediocre’ (I hope…) thoughts in this site…napakatagal na!

Three Friday’s ago my long time boyfriend and I decided to go our separate ways. Now don’t even begin to imagine that I cried a river, got drunk and ask the burning question WHY?!!!. No, I didn’t. Then still, comes the question WHY? After so many years, after spending years and years together decided in a snap to end it all.

Let me give you the 411. The two of us decided to put God first. A few months before this incident Chuck practically asked me to marry him (at lalo kayong naghinayang!), I didn’t say yes right away, I told him I will pray for it and I will ask God for a confirmation. Weeks pass and there was no confirmation. I was sad and the funny thing is that what I am receiving are signals that God needs me right NOW.
And even if for some people, it would be hard to understand to let go of something so beautiful, we did. I remember what Monica told me when we were discussing Lordship, it has to be God or Not at all and as for me I think I made a clear decision whom to follow.

I was so blessed that when I told chuck of what I had conceived he agreed and in fact even he has the same messages from you know ‘who’. He told me that ‘the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few’, and as of this moment both of us agreed that we are a son and a daughter of God whom we should serve whole-heartedly.
Don’t get me wrong I am hurting, aching in fact. But I have a promise from God and I will hold on to it. If by any chance Chuck would meet somebody better along the way and decided that that person is someone he can share his life with, I will be devastated. But God’s will be done. The fact of the matter is if Chuck and I disregarded the ‘messages’ from our Father, we would still end up apart and it will not be beautiful, It will be messy and some one’s going to be hurt, why take the risk of ending a relationship so good when you can just obey.
Surely, some people are wondering are we insane. NOPE.

‘Delight yourself unto the Lord and HE will give the desires of your heart’

Grace Bible Church