Monday, August 13, 2007

heartbroken

You want to know what a heart break is?
Its not when your long time crush finally had a girlfriend and its not you.
It’s not about your boyfriend finally realizing that he doesn’t love you anymore.
It’s not even you realizing that the one you love will never love you back.

Heartbreak is when you realize that the quest for knowledge is finally over. That the time and tide does not truly understand the ache and the pain of not being able to max out the opportunity of learning something everyday.

Heartbreak is when the passion that you have all dried up. Not because you ran out zeal or enthusiasm, but because your students does not find you interesting enough. And they are not even discreet about it. As though, every time that they would deliberate tell them something substantial but they turn the other cheek.

A heartbreak is realizing that you wanted to be the one who would make the ripple that would cause change in the society and then realizing that nobody wants to join your ripple. That what you are saying every waking hour is as good as dozing off.

Heartbreak is when you realize that you need to get out of the institution because the students does not share the same sentiments much more vision of how you want them to be.

Finally, heartbreak is knowing that you wanted them to be a better person but they refuse to be one. I wanted them to be exceptional. Outstanding. Far more better than me.

I have been heartbroken.
Many, many times.
And I am tired.
And I am suffocated.
And I need a reason to stay in this universe.
…But I cant.

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